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lately i've been feeling sort of... inadequate, i guess? i feel like nothing i do is good enough and i'm thinking about what happens after college and not being able to find something that i enjoy/am good in. i don't have any special talents and i don't have any interests currently that i'd be able to make a living out of. it's kind of worrisome; it's hard thinking about trying to live on my own when i don't have a job that could actually help pay rent or bills with.
money is always an issue. i'm like perpetually broke and it annoys me so much. sometimes my coworkers invite me out to dinners and stuff but i can never go because i don't have money. my friends from out of state come home and want to go out but i can't join them because i'm broke. i want to take a vacation, visit somewhere else like europe or go back to hk but i can't because lmao i would never be able to afford it. it's really frustrating.
there's so many things i want to do but i can't do it because something is always stopping me from doing it.
also now that i've kind of gotten into rp again i kind of regret it. i remember a lot of things that made me leave in the first place which i guess also ties in with inadequacy. i always feel like i'm just kind of hanging in the sidelines and not really doing anything and yeah people say that they'd like to do more things with me but it's either they're busy with their own thing or something outside of rp gets my attention and the chance goes by. or idk people just lose interest or they were never interested in the first place and just go along to be polite. idk there's all these little insecurities that come up and i'm starting to feel like maybe i should just drop everywhere again because i really don't need to be feeling like this right now.
but at the same time, i joined because i wanted to get back in touch with friends again. but i feel like it hasn't made me feel any closer to them than before when i wasn't in games.
idk it's just shitty dumb feelings. i think if it keeps happening after exams i'll probably just drop. i shouldn't have to feel these things over something like rp.
money is always an issue. i'm like perpetually broke and it annoys me so much. sometimes my coworkers invite me out to dinners and stuff but i can never go because i don't have money. my friends from out of state come home and want to go out but i can't join them because i'm broke. i want to take a vacation, visit somewhere else like europe or go back to hk but i can't because lmao i would never be able to afford it. it's really frustrating.
there's so many things i want to do but i can't do it because something is always stopping me from doing it.
also now that i've kind of gotten into rp again i kind of regret it. i remember a lot of things that made me leave in the first place which i guess also ties in with inadequacy. i always feel like i'm just kind of hanging in the sidelines and not really doing anything and yeah people say that they'd like to do more things with me but it's either they're busy with their own thing or something outside of rp gets my attention and the chance goes by. or idk people just lose interest or they were never interested in the first place and just go along to be polite. idk there's all these little insecurities that come up and i'm starting to feel like maybe i should just drop everywhere again because i really don't need to be feeling like this right now.
but at the same time, i joined because i wanted to get back in touch with friends again. but i feel like it hasn't made me feel any closer to them than before when i wasn't in games.
idk it's just shitty dumb feelings. i think if it keeps happening after exams i'll probably just drop. i shouldn't have to feel these things over something like rp.