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Wow, so I guess this is the first legit post in this journal. Dang. I kind of owe a hella belated life report thing to a lot of people, especially those who I don't have added on plurk and stuff, so haha sorry this took so long. I'm not dead, guys! Promise!
A shitload of things happened in these last months, so much so that I've been super busy with school and work and everything. To the point where I don't even have much time to really talk to everyone on the internet like I did before. I've kind of put RP on the backseat for a while now, and it's a little sad because I really miss playing with everyone. Sometimes, I feel kind of out of the loop: people plurk and talk about stuff happening in different games and they rave about awesome players/castmates, but I don't have anything to say other than I'm glad they're having fun. It's kind of stupid, but I feel like I've kind of lost contact with a lot of people because I don't really play with them anymore. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so busy all the time so I can join in on RP shenanigans and get back in with the coolkids. Unfortunately, I don't think I can until my life calms down and who knows when that'll happen.
Things at home have been pretty okay, surprisingly. I think my parents and I are kind of getting to the point where it's just too tiring to really hold grudges and have screaming fests like all the goddamn time. I've also been hanging out with friends more and staying out later, so I guess that sort of makes a difference too. But hey, nothing is better than something, most of the time.
As for my social life, it's been the craziest it's ever been. It's pretty much a whole clusterfuck of stuff that is way too long and complicated to recount accurately and concisely, but basically I sort of fell in love with a real life version of Yamamoto Takeshi and I guess I still kind of am in love with him. I kind of fucked up a lot along the way though, and caused/received a lot of pain, but I think (I hope) that things will start getting a little better from here on out. It's scary and I guess it's kind of stupid because all the faggotry and bullshit aside, this is really the most I've felt about someone. It's been emotionally terrifying and fulfilling and I developed all these feelings and it's really difficult to let them go completely and...
It's just.
It's weird when you feel both excruciating pain and joy when you're around someone, and I think it's going to stay like that for a while. But in the end, I learned a lot and somehow, I think I'll manage. Because even though this whole thing caused a lot of grief and even though I'm the one who has to leave, there were many wonderful moments that I will always cherish. I'm still growing and I'm still learning, but I think now I have a better idea on what I really want and what really makes me happy.
A shitload of things happened in these last months, so much so that I've been super busy with school and work and everything. To the point where I don't even have much time to really talk to everyone on the internet like I did before. I've kind of put RP on the backseat for a while now, and it's a little sad because I really miss playing with everyone. Sometimes, I feel kind of out of the loop: people plurk and talk about stuff happening in different games and they rave about awesome players/castmates, but I don't have anything to say other than I'm glad they're having fun. It's kind of stupid, but I feel like I've kind of lost contact with a lot of people because I don't really play with them anymore. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't so busy all the time so I can join in on RP shenanigans and get back in with the coolkids. Unfortunately, I don't think I can until my life calms down and who knows when that'll happen.
Things at home have been pretty okay, surprisingly. I think my parents and I are kind of getting to the point where it's just too tiring to really hold grudges and have screaming fests like all the goddamn time. I've also been hanging out with friends more and staying out later, so I guess that sort of makes a difference too. But hey, nothing is better than something, most of the time.
As for my social life, it's been the craziest it's ever been. It's pretty much a whole clusterfuck of stuff that is way too long and complicated to recount accurately and concisely, but basically I sort of fell in love with a real life version of Yamamoto Takeshi and I guess I still kind of am in love with him. I kind of fucked up a lot along the way though, and caused/received a lot of pain, but I think (I hope) that things will start getting a little better from here on out. It's scary and I guess it's kind of stupid because all the faggotry and bullshit aside, this is really the most I've felt about someone. It's been emotionally terrifying and fulfilling and I developed all these feelings and it's really difficult to let them go completely and...
It's just.
It's weird when you feel both excruciating pain and joy when you're around someone, and I think it's going to stay like that for a while. But in the end, I learned a lot and somehow, I think I'll manage. Because even though this whole thing caused a lot of grief and even though I'm the one who has to leave, there were many wonderful moments that I will always cherish. I'm still growing and I'm still learning, but I think now I have a better idea on what I really want and what really makes me happy.
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ame??!?!??!
ahhh but yeah, relationships are BALLS and shit always happens, but good luck ok ♥
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i'm not even joking.
thanks bro ♥
nice XP
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gurl..........
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For what it's worth, I'll always be there whenever you do find the time for internet/rp shenanigans. My job's sort of eating me alive right now, but you're always gonna be the girl who's gotta link me to Wiki to explain what you had for dinner and who I'll randomly internet marry every ten minutes if the opportunity arises.
Lastly...I'm not too sure what I can say for relationships, I think you know my experience is way limited, but I hope you're not too hard on yourself and keep your chin up.
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I've been meaning to say that I miss you. Sometimes I want to call, but I don't know when's good, and...I guess I just want you to know that I think about you. Since you mentioned feeling out of the loop, I feel like it's something I ought to express. Even if you can't be around much nowadays, you're always Ame and there's no replacing you. I'll be here, and I know others will too.
Probably sounds real sappy, but hey.
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and you know you can always call me! if i don't answer, just leave me a message and i will do my best to call you back as soon as i get the chance. thank you for keeping me in your thoughts, and i want you to know that the same goes for you too! hopefully when summer gets here, i'll have more time to derp around with you again. ♥
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Okay, I'll try and get myself to do that this week. I'm so bad about faffing about and worrying, but it's something I ought to work on. If summer's a bit less hectic, I'll be looking forward to derping around, for sure. Gotta ask about all the things and update you on dorkery and...yeah. Ametimes'll be glorious whenever they occur.
Also, for your amusement, have this.